Social networking gives life to even the faintest, most latent personality disorders, particularly obsessive compulsive behavior. The instant updating of 'statuses' and public displays of private messages and flirtation by way of sending silly gifts have all replaced their real life analogues. That is all fine by me.
I think the craze needs to be exploited for good, for making sure no human being is left out of the e-lovefest.
What harm would there be in adding Ahmadinejad, Putin and Kim Jong Il to your Facebook friends list?
"President Barack Obama Superpokes Ahmadinejad, rocks Knesset. Tonight at 11."
We could give the world leaders all iPhones or Crackberrys and interact with them. Political moves and announcements could be predicted ahead of time by way of Superpoke pattern analysis (SPA) and Wall-to-Wall writings (WWW).
Monday morning: "Ehud Olmert changes status to 'diabolical.'"
Monday night: "Hamas leadership responds with status change to 'combative.'"
U.S. inauguration day: "Louis Farrakhan changes status to 'thankful,' Superpokes Michelle Obama. Secret Service to investigate."
That is probably all the mean people of the world want, to be loved and engage in the social activities of the people they aim to harass. They most likely weren't hugged as children and had to share their toys. I bet all the meanest meanies were middle childs who were underdeveloped and ugly as sin throughout their adolescence. That's definitely a recipe - also a free pass - for a lifetime of psychoanalysis, several exposes aired on A&E, a devoted section in history books, and perhaps a nice Rx cocktail with not one but two umbrellas.
But let's take it a step further.
A Guantanamo Bay Facebook group. A 'Your hottest leaders' list. Scrabulous with Sarkozy. Awesome. I'd never get work done in class.
Then, we can add in the various prison gangs and see if they interact with each other the same way online as they would in prison. We could call this 'modeling by way of social networking,' which would be the equivalent of virtualizing software systems to save money.
E-cred: posting a giant, solid blue shape on the Bloods' Wall to stir up trouble. Imagine the traffic generated from online gang warfare. What's not to monetize?
And the victims? Merely deleted from friends' lists instead of physically harmed. Somehow, I think we'd need mental and physical harm to manifest themselves as part of the social networking experience. Until then, Hamas can Superpoke the IDF and we can all write on Castro's Wall, wishing him well and tagging him in dug up old photos of him in his youth.
But let's take it a step further.
A Guantanamo Bay Facebook group. A 'Your hottest leaders' list. Scrabulous with Sarkozy. Awesome. I'd never get work done in class.
Then, we can add in the various prison gangs and see if they interact with each other the same way online as they would in prison. We could call this 'modeling by way of social networking,' which would be the equivalent of virtualizing software systems to save money.
E-cred: posting a giant, solid blue shape on the Bloods' Wall to stir up trouble. Imagine the traffic generated from online gang warfare. What's not to monetize?
And the victims? Merely deleted from friends' lists instead of physically harmed. Somehow, I think we'd need mental and physical harm to manifest themselves as part of the social networking experience. Until then, Hamas can Superpoke the IDF and we can all write on Castro's Wall, wishing him well and tagging him in dug up old photos of him in his youth.
